Dealing With Stress & How To Unwind

This is not a self-help post…well, at least it’s not meant to be.  If you find something here that may help you figure out how to unwind, go for it!

I had a comment on the Blogtember Challenge: Day 29 post, where the writer asked me to share how I unwind when I’m stressed.

Here’s the thing, I don’t unwind WHEN I am stressed.  Often it’s after the stress has completely and utterly overwhelmed me, and I’m somewhat past it, that I unwind.  Or rather, recover!

I like to look words up in the dictionary or thesaurus.  It’s a thing.  I have always enjoyed it…for some strange reason.

When I looked up “unwind” in the dictionary, this is what I found:

• to undo or loosen from or as if from a coiled condition
• to reduce the tension of; relax
• to disentangle or disengage; untwist

My thesaurus gave the following synonyms:

• loosen
• unfurl
• unravel

As I looked at these words and pondered the meaning…in looking at myself being twisted up like a coil, I thought of last week, honestly.

I needed to be unfurled.  Unraveled and loosened.

I woke up one morning with a “crick” in my neck.  More like, my muscles in angry knots – all between my neck and shoulder blade on the right side of my body.

It was almost unbearable.  This was the culmination of two weeks of waking up this way, but this particular morning, it was worse.  No stretching or walking was working any of this out for me.

I Facebook messaged a massage therapist that works in my building, begging for an appointment.  She pretty much saw me right away.

When she got her hands on my neck, and when I felt like she was trying to rip all of my muscles out, she said “Oooh, you’re ANGRY.”

{sad face}…”I am NOT!”  I thought to myself.  I really wasn’t.  I honestly couldn’t tell you why my muscles had tensed up as much as they had over the last week.

I tried to figure it out: Was it my work?  Was it all the sadness and stress from the devastation of and dealings with the flood? Was it the stress of constantly having to boil water for everything/anything?!  There was nothing I could pinpoint for the cause of this “stress”.  It just needed to be dealt with.  And she was my answer for that day.

When I’m in the moment of stress {often while at work}, I remove myself from the situation, which is usually my office.  I take a lap around our building and on occasion will call Andrew.  I almost always pray.  I pray for wisdom, discernment and eyes to see what I might not be able to see at that moment.  Am I missing something?  Is there something here that I am not seeing?  Is there something I could have said, or need to say?

Sometimes I’ll go to others with whom I work to vet through something or seek their advise/wisdom.   Sometimes I just vent.  {Don’t we all at some point?}

If I’m at home and whomever has just stepped on that one last nerve I had… I can’t say that I always handle myself with grace.  I can’t say that I don’t ever raise my voice or look like that crazed mom, because on occasion I do.  But, I try to remember always that my words can leave a lasting impression…I try not to be physical or in anyway harm my children.  {We use time out at our house…often}.

Sometimes I do let him/her sit in the floor screaming so that I can walk away to reassess.  There’s no use in us both losing all of our marbles all at the same time!!  Also, I’ve found that trying to reason with a screaming toddler doesn’t really work.  Sometimes {often times}, they just need to get it out.  Once they’re in a reasonable frame of mind, then we can talk.

Sounds sort of like adults too, right?

So if I were to give you 5 tips to deal with the stress:

1. Walk away from the situation to reassess.
2. Take a deep breath and pray.  In your quiet, pray for wisdom.  Pray for discernment.  Pray for grace in your words and your actions.
3. Cry if you need to.
4. Talk to someone else about the situation, if it warrants this.  Just a venting session every time you’re stressed isn’t going to work and you’re not going to be helping anyone if this is your constant go-to…this is an occasional step.
5. Smile.  If not on the outside, smile on the inside.  It will help you not be so frustrated or angry.
6. {BONUS!} – get a massage!!

AFTER the stress, once work is over and our kids are down…this is my de-stressing time.  I will often walk on our treadmill at night…and while I’m walking I’ll either read, listen to music or have quiet time and think back through my day.  Then I sometimes have a mimosa and go to bed.  Ha.  But seriously.

Some people may de-stress by taking a bubble bath, or punching it out on a bag.  For me, it’s about processing.  I’m a processor.  What happened?  What did I do?  What could I have done differently?  What will I do the next time this happens?   Etc.  You get the picture.  And that can only happen if it’s quiet for me…which means few distractions.

Not every day is stressful.  And certainly some days are more stress-filled than others.  You could say that on my more stressful days, I’m a lot closer to God. :)  At least in my pleadings for help.

I am a firm believer that He hears me when I pray.  And I know that He will give me what I need in every moment.  So in the stressful moments, whether it’s a person or a situation that brings it, I know that He is bigger, He is mightier and He already knows the outcome.  I rely on Him.

Psalm 119:143: Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands give me delight.

How do you deal with and move past stress?