I have found myself in this weird conundrum of sadness and joy over the last few weeks since Mom died.
Even saying that word seems so wrong and confusing and somehow not what I should be saying about her.
I was sitting with a sweet group of girls this morning having a little prayer time and one friend was praying for this man who has MS and is on hospice currently. He is a believer and so there is this hope that possibly soon he will be out of his pain, and made new again.
In my friend’s prayer for this man she said that Jesus has overcome death and I immediately thought of the verse that questions where death’s sting is: Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? – 1 Corinthians 15:55
Then I started thinking about my conundrum.
My joy comes from the fact that death has no victory over my mom. Over me, over us.
She has the victory because she now HAS JESUS.
There is no sting. Yes there is this great sadness of things that will be missed with her, of seeing her face, hearing her voice; of the birth of our son Emory in some five weeks’ time and the joy that she would have brought with her upon seeing him the first time. So many things that are missed about her. But there is this great, immeasurable joy of knowing she is with our Savior and yes, I will one day see her beautiful, beloved face again.
So while it seems weird to me that maybe I’m not as sad as I should be, and even in the saddest of moments, and yes there have been many of those…I have to rejoice because she’s where we all want to be one day, beholding the Creator and Savior of the world.
Have any of you ever been in this place of grief and yet, joy?