Michelle

Tuesday.March 17th, 2020

March 17, 2020 by Michelle Filed Under: Uncategorized Leave a Comment

It’s early. The kids are still sleeping. Andrew is in the office working (and has been since ~4am). I rose early to spend some time in prayer and my Bible study, that was just recently started with the sweet group of ladies I’ve been able to study along with on Thursday mornings. Things are different now. No more Bible Study with my ladies…..

As I sat at my little desk in our living room with hot latte in hand (homemade), I closed my eyes to pray. Lord, heal our land. Lord, heal the thousands of people who have contracted this virus. Lord, give strength to the medical professionals that are tirelessly working to help those who are sick. Lord, give YOUR wisdom to those who are desperately seeking a cure or vaccine for this disease that has our world turned upside down. Lord, humble Your people. YOU are the only one who can ultimately heal. YOU are the only one who can fix all that is wrong in this world. Lord, if this is what you are using to turn hearts to you, may your Spirit move quickly among those who know you, in order that others may come to know you in a deeper way.

There are thousands of things and people to be prayed for no doubt. Psalm 62:8 tells us to pour out our hearts to Him. What do you need? Grace to get through another homeschooling day when you never signed up to be a homeschooling momma? All joking aside…tell Him, ask Him to fill you up with what you lack. Pray Jeremiah 33:9…Lord, may your renown be known, may your joy, praise and honor flow from our lips and Lord will you provide abundantly for those who are lacking. Whatever it is…go to Him. He hears your cries for help…He is your Father and He knows your voice, He created you after all – He will come to your aide.💖
Romans 8:28

Standing Firm

January 1, 2020 by Michelle Filed Under: Faith, Life Leave a Comment

As 2019 came to a wrap I was reminded of my word for the year, Peace. You may recall I wrote a post in February {read it here!} about my word of the year – and how odd I found that my word was ‘Peace’. We don’t always know the answers going into something new, like a new year, but we remain steadfast and joyful, and jump in with both feet, hopeful and expectant.

Well, 2019 was full of trials and moments of distress among happy and joy-filled memories with family and friends. The peace that I wasn’t so sure I needed, or even wanted at the beginning of the year, was showing me how deeply I craved it.
The Lord knew, of course. John 14:27 sums it up pretty simply: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

The world and what she has to offer doesn’t lend the peace I desperately need, only Jesus can give it; it can only be found in Him.

Resting in His sometimes in-explainable peace, I move forward into 2020 with my new word for the year, based on DaySpring’s quiz…Stand.

Another seemingly odd word for me…I giggled a little when it showed up on my screen, wondering what in the world… What would this mean for 2020. I shrugged my shoulders and opened the email that I received to further encourage me with this new word. I found enclosed in the email several verses of scripture in the form of wallpaper for my phone and shareables to…well, share.

This is the one I made my home screen on my phone. It ‘spoke’ to me in several ways:
1. Be alert – 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. He nearly got me in 2019.
2. Stand firm – not just stand, but stand FIRM. Know in whom you believe and don’t just stand, but stand firm, determined, steadfast in what He has done for you/me.
3. Do everything in love – read those words slowly. Do.everything.in.love.
Do everything, not just a few things, not just when I feel like it, but rather, do everything. In love. In serving. In being 51% of every relationship. Out-doing the other person in the relationship. Romans 12:10 says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” And not out-doing as in some sort of competition or for a reward, but out of love for the other person and of the Father.

While I am realistic in knowing there isn’t some magic potion to make all of this just happen – to change me to be the person I want to be, I know by God’s grace, His strength, His might, I can do all things in Him. It is my desire to be joyful and content in Him. To stand firm in my beliefs of who He is, who I am in Him and where He calls me.

I have no idea what 2020 holds for me, but I am expectant and joyful in knowing Who goes before me and prepares me for His good works, Ephesians 2:10.

My prayer for you in this new year is that you find whatever it is you need, in Him. He is better. <3

Happy Birthday Momma

December 11, 2019 by Michelle Filed Under: Being a Mom, Life 5 Comments

I talked to my best friend, Ann, yesterday…she knew that today is my mom’s birthday. Through our conversation, she asked me which day is harder, the day she passed away or her birthday? The two days are so very different.

The day she died is a hard day because it’s re-living those moments, those last moments with her, holding her hand, wishing for her to wake, or just squeeze my hand – something to let me know she was there. And then the conversation with the doctor, about her state and the awful reality of what was. The tears cried over our impending loss of this woman we loved and adored, and then watching her fade into the arms of Jesus. Yes, that day is so very hard.

Her birthday is a difficult day in a different way. There are memories of calling her in the mornings of her birthday to sing happy birthday to her – hearing her laugh in response and tell me of all the things she would do for the day. {She had the best laugh!}
Even the surprising celebration we had for her when she turned 60 – gathering some of her closest friends together at a little dessert place in downtown Macon. She had no clue about it, and it was so wonderful to see her face light up – the hugs, laughs and even happy tears that flowed from the love shown to her by the ones who loved her so deeply.

>Sigh< Yes, her birthday is hard because it’s so very different…I cannot call her, my kids cannot call her to tell her happy birthday – and what a joy that would be to hear – them ~~yelling~~ singing happy birthday to her!

This past weekend we were in Macon, to celebrate the wedding of my cousin’s daughter. It was a great time of being with my extended family – and hearing sweet memories from a couple of cousins about my mom. She was thoughtful and kind…she made these sweet little cross-stitched ornaments – my cousin Brooke talked about how much hers mean to her – how her girls even knew this year, while decorating the tree, that these ornaments from Aunt Mary were a must to go on the tree. We all have them – and my how precious they have become to us. This is one she made for me…

We went by her grave before the wedding to visit and also change out the flowers on her grave. The store we went to didn’t have any Christmas flowers so we opted for a wreath, and a fun necklace that would have surely made her laugh. The kids asked questions about her, Reynolds and Eliza Jane spoke of how much they missed her and I just stood there thinking about what it’s like now that she’s gone.

Not to make this post sad and depressing, but just to share with you about this day and to also make note of a few things: life is precious. Your life is precious. You are a part of, and touch the lives of so many – more than you realize, and when you are gone, there is emptiness in your place.

This is her 3rd birthday spent in Heaven, and while I do rejoice that she is with Jesus, I sure do miss her. Life is so very different because she is not here. Our family isn’t the same without her – she was the glue that held us together.
Mom, you are loved, you are missed and we thank Jesus for the time we had with you. “You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known—and even that is an understatement.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

One of the last photos I took of her <3 – July 2016

Eliza Jane’s Princess Party

August 31, 2019 by Michelle Filed Under: Being a Mom, Decorating/Remodeling, Events, Life, Party Ideas Leave a Comment

“A dream is a wish your heart makes…when you’re fast asleep…”

These are the first words of one of my favorite songs from ‘Cinderella’ my favorite princess from my favorite fairy tale, my favorite movie.

When Eliza Jane and I talked earlier this summer about her birthday party, I asked her what kind of party she wanted for her FIFTH birthday.
First of all, can we pause for a moment together and say, ‘how in the WORLD is she FIVE!?’ Remember when she was born and I shared her birth story? Seems like last year… I can hardly believe we’re now using a whole hand to tell her age. It’s so weird.

Okay, back to princesses and dreams and parties.
When we talked about her birthday, I had all sorts of fun ideas – fairies in a garden, a ballet with a small group of friends, all sorts of fun things were stirring in my mind, but when I asked her she had one, very simple response: PRINCESS!

Princess. We did a princess party last year.
I pondered it for about a day; How could we do another princess party this year, that would be different from last year, and certainly a GOOD party because it is her FIFTH.

What if….and my wheels started turning.
What if we created a castle. What if, walking into the living room, it was like walking into a castle.
I threw the idea at Andrew and shared some initial thoughts with him…I think he smiled and tossed his head back with, “This is going to get out of hand real fast, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes it is.” I said with a laugh. “She only turns 5 once…and last year her brother threw out the first pitch at a Fireflies baseball game, so…”

I got online and made a reservation for two princesses to join us for her party. This part would remain a complete surprise to her and her friends. I told a couple of moms, and swore them to secrecy. {I may have even threatened death to one…}. I was giddy with my secret…I knew my sweet girl would be over the moon to see two of her favorite princesses show up at HER house.

One night at ballet practice, my sweet friend Dana and I perused Pinterest, looking for ideas to help me figure out how we would bring this vision to life. The dream I had for her castle centered around a chandelier and canopy hanging over a beautifully set table, with golds and pinks and greens. Slowly, but surely I started collecting items that we could use for the party and to be completely honest, the outcome was so much more than I ever dreamed.

A few points I’ll make before you see the pictures: Eliza Jane LOVED her castle. She called me an artist the day I put up the castle…NO ONE has ever called me an artist {for good reason!}. The weekend before the party Reynolds came up with the idea to be a knight, to greet the princesses, so of course I ordered him a knight costume!
The princesses are from Once Upon a Princess and they were simply amazing. Completely in character the whole time, they told stories, sang and danced, and played games with the sweet girls at our party.
To say everything was a dream…it was a beautiful, beautiful dream.

The canopy belongs to our friend Brynn, who let us borrow it for this sweet party.

This tablescape was inspired by one I saw on Pinterest and was able to find all of the paper products from If It’s Paper; the flowers came from Lowe’s Foods and the chairs were rented. The chandelier came from a house we recently renovated!

The castle was created from craft paper purchased from Lowe’s (the hardware store), and I spray painted the bricks. The sconces are made from black construction paper and the fire is tissue paper.
These yellow wingback chairs were my grandparent’s and I had them reupholstered a couple of years ago. The fun hanging elements are from Michael’s (3 different party packs) and are hanging by fishing line, attached to the ceiling with clear push pins (my thumb is so sore!).

A big thank you to my sweet friend Dana, who dripped sweat with me yesterday afternoon trying to hang this canopy. We were absolutely determined to find a way to make it work, and succeeded! You can create amazing things with pushpins and small strips of ribbon!

This sweet little cupcake display was GIVEN to me by the manager at If It’s Paper. I went in one day to buy the envelopes for the birthday invitations and ‘happened’ to tell the lady at the register about our princess party. The manager overheard me and asked if I wanted this display…and she gave it to me stating she had been waiting for someone to come in for princess party ware, that she could give it to. Lucky me.

This small pink cake stand is from Anthropologie a couple of years ago and Publix did our cupcakes this year.

My sweet Reynolds being a complete gentleman. The princesses called him ‘Prince Charming’. His costume was ordered via Amazon.

“If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true”

We also had a small dress up area complete with several princess dresses, necklaces, bracelets, rings, wands, princess shoes and makeup! You can imagine the fun these girls had. We had several wardrobe changes, trading shoes and jewelry. It was such a joy watching these girls have so much fun today.
I’m so thankful for the friends who were able to come and celebrate with us – it was a day I won’t forget for a very long time.

Until next time sweet friends…

First Day of School…

August 21, 2019 by Michelle Filed Under: Being a Mom, Life Leave a Comment

Like many friends, today was our first day back to school…and I have mixed emotions, that obviously, I’m going to share with you.

First let me start by saying that over the last few years, I’m not sure I ever imagined that I would be able to spend an entire summer with my kids. A week of family vacation, sure. Maybe even a day here or there, but the ENTIRE summer…it was incredible.
Sure there were days when we lost our patience, and got a little snippy with each other, and there may have been a day or two that I wished summer away, and the school year to begin, but all in all it was a wonderful summer with my kiddos. I got to really experience them, Reynolds especially, in a new way with all the time we were able to spend together.

So with today being the first day of school… Eliza Jane started KINDERGARTEN. I can’t even believe it. How can it even be?! And Reynolds has moved up to 1st grade. Emory is still at preschool/daycare {for which I am extremely thankful}.

Last year with Reynolds I think I was a little more emotional, as he is my first baby. And the thoughts of leaving him somewhere completely foreign to me, with strange people was almost overwhelming. This year, however, Eliza Jane has the same teacher Reynolds had last year – Ms. Moskowitz – and we LOVE her. She is the most precious of all teachers {no offense to any of my teacher-friends out there}. She already adores Eliza Jane and calls her ‘Lady Bug’. And yes, I’m pretending that this is a pet name solely dedicated to my Eliza Jane and no one else, ever before, or ever again. Give me my moment.

But then we also know all these other teachers and staff members. And the kids…and some more parents; I’m much more at ease this time around. Yes, I suppress the thoughts of ‘what if’ and trust that the good Lord has them in the palm of His hand.

So today we dropped off the two at ‘big’ school…walked home with Emory, who asked over and over again why he couldn’t stay. And then he went to his school, and we settled in to yet, another new normal.

The house was quiet.
No one was complaining, whining, arguing or otherwise making some annoying sound to grate on my every last nerve…
No one was laughing, playing sweetly with toys or asking for help coloring a picture, or wanting to help make a cake or cookies…
No one asked for a pickle at lunch time, or where we were going to eat supper tonight. Or what day it was to figure out what evening activities awaited.
No one made a mess in my den, for the 10th time today. Or threw all the pillows on the floor to make a fort, or a tent, or some other contraption that would make me twitch…
No one had five wardrobe changes by the time the afternoon rolled around…no clothes were thrown all about.
No rooms were left in complete shambles to drive me insane throughout the day as I walked by…
No one asked me five thousand times if we were going to the pool, or when we were going to the pool…

Yes, school is back in session. And Yeah…summer was really that good. I will miss our summer, but I’m also ready to get back to work!

As you think about your own kids, or somebody else’s kids going back to school today or this week, please pray for them. And pray for all these wonderful teachers who love on, steer and teach the kids all about our world and of course academics…but there’s so much more that they do. And they need our prayers. For safety, for success, for grace, for kindness, for love…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

Happy first day of school to my friends, their kids and teachers. May this be the most fun school year yet.

Until next time…

On Mondays: I Do the Laundry & I Water the Plants

July 22, 2019 by Michelle Filed Under: Being a Mom, Gardening, Life 4 Comments

Some days I feel like I have absolutely no idea of what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to be doing. Do you ever feel like that?
When I left my full-time-working-outside-the-home job in December, all form of daily structure went with it.
Structure that I crave. And truth be told…NEED. I’m like a fish flailing about on a dry dock without structure.

After many months of trying to figure out my “new normal”, I now know two things: on Mondays I do the laundry and I water the plants. Seriously, only two things have actually fallen into place so far. Some days I feel like that’s so ridiculous…like I should have so much more figured out by now – 7 months into this ‘newness’. But so many other days, I have to fly by the seat of my pants because #homerenovations + #summertime + #kids. And being a structure-loving sort of gal, too much structure makes me completely unable to adjust to changes, and be happy about them {let’s just be REAL, sometimes curve balls thrown at me make me a grumpy momma}.

These aren’t my plants. In fact, this isn’t even my photo…I borrowed it from Anthropologie :)
You can get these beautiful little basket planters here.

On the other hand, not enough structure means I wander about, jumping from one thing to the next, never really accomplishing anything.
You know that feeling of starting something, but then getting half-way or almost done and then something else takes your attention, and then that thing you started and almost finished…just waits? That’s how my laundry used to be. I would start a few loads, get them going…do a little folding and then they’d never get put away or that last load would just sit in the dryer and we all know how that ends up. They were never fully dried or that load was all the shorts and cute tops and dresses for the kids and now they’re all wrinkled…Which means you now have to get out the iron {or just let your kids run around in wrinkled clothes…, seriously no judgement here ‘cuz #beentheredonethat}. Bless it all. So on Mondays, ALL the laundry gets done. The sheets, the towels, the cute dresses and shorts, all of it.
They get washed and dried, folded AND put away and I feel like a boss-babe when it all gets done. Five loads today alone. That’s the average each week…sometimes a load or two more depending on how many wardrobe changes Reynolds went thru the previous week {what is that about, anyway?!}. Also, if we’ve been at the pool or lake and towels/swimsuits need to be refreshed. But on average I’m around 5 each Monday. Sometimes I start a load Sunday night so that I’m half a load in once Monday morning rolls around. But usually by 3pm I’ve got it all completed and I can enjoy the afternoon with Eliza Jane and her gymnastics and then whatever else comes my way.

And then I water the plants. I have a lot of indoor plants because they make me happy. My mom had a green thumb as did her daddy. My mom had some of the most beautiful African Violets you’d ever seen. She was a master at keeping them not just alive but also happy. My dad also has a green thumb as did his parents, with their ‘garden’ at the back of their property and my Nama’s beautifully manicured lawn… So with the green thumb running rampant in my family, I feel as though I need lots of plants. And because it’s so hot outside, one doesn’t have time or energy to be sweating all day long, so I need indoor plants.

Just so y’all know, unlike my mom, I don’t ‘do’ African Violets. They’re too temperamental for me {I’m temperamental enough for myself, I don’t need a plant to test me}, instead I have Spider Plants that a sweet man at church gave my kids a couple of years ago and they’re so pretty – we have one in each of their rooms as well as one that sits on my dining room table. I also have a Fiddle Fig because they were all the rage when I was pregnant with Eliza Jane…and now that plant is a happy, window-loving tree that sits in our living room! I also have a gorgeous Peace Lily that was sent to my family when my mom passed away almost three years ago. It sat in my office until I came home and now it has a sweet little spot on the opposite end of the couch from the Fiddle Fig. A quick note about Peace Lilies is that they like water more than once a week – their weeping leaves will show you :) I also have an Asparagus Fern because I had a co-worker once that had a Rabbit Foot Fern that was so cute and unique and when trying to remember what she had, I purchased the wrong thing! I have a few other plants but the last I’ll share with you is my Thanksgiving Cactus. Given to me many years ago from my mom, it was my first indoor plant – and it started as a cutting from one she had. Mine has grown large enough now, that it’s been split into two different plants – one sits in our guest bedroom, and the other in our living room on top of the buffet I inherited from my grandparents.

It may not sound like much to you {or maybe it does?}, just doing laundry and watering some silly plants. But when I was working outside the home, it took everything I had to get the laundry done each week and not feel like I was completely failing my family. Or that I was using every bit of our weekend family time to do the laundry. And my poor plants were barely making it.
To see my plants thriving, and the lack of clothes piled up on the chest at the end of our bed is proof to me that things are good. That the structure is as it should be, and I feel accomplished…at least at the end of each Monday…the rest of the week could be debated. ;)

So this Monday as I finish up my laundry, because I had a few curve balls thrown at me today…I’ll leave you with a quick thought from my Birthday Card book: ‘You’ve done much. But there’s still much more to do.’
Psalm 71:9 says Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

Until next time friends…

Tonight.

June 24, 2019 by Michelle Filed Under: Being a Mom 1 Comment

A few years ago, we went thru a period with Reynolds, that was especially trying. The Lord has gifted him with a very strong-willed spirit, and while I know childhood years can be extremely trying {hello, current situation}, I also know that with guidance, proper discipline and love, he will grow into a respected and beloved leader. That’s my prayer, at least.

I remind myself of those things on a night like tonight where things just kind of went sideways with him. I can’t even remember what happened, but his punishment was that he was going to miss out on reading a fun book, that Eliza Jane had picked out; Story time was moving to her room, and he was being sent to bed.

Things can escalate rather quickly with Reynolds, when he gets mad/upset and tonight was no different. Shouts of “you’re the worst parents I’ve EVER had!” came bellowing from his bedroom and I think I mumbled under my breath {or maybe even out loud}, “RIGHT. ‘Cuz we’re the ONLY parents you’ve ever had.”…..
I’m really good at come-backs.

Then he invited himself into Eliza Jane’s room, where, trying to be kind, I told him he could listen from the corner and promptly showed him his spot. Unhappy with my designated seat for him, we had another showing of the red-face so he was escorted back to his bedroom where again, he yelled about how I was the WORST. And even that he hated me, and he knew I didn’t love him.

Calmly, I asked him if he wanted to pray, or recall any of the truths he’s learned at any of the camps he’s attended the last couple of weeks via church. He promptly put his hands over his ears and shouted that no, he didn’t want to pray and NO, he wasn’t trying to remember ANYTHING.

I told him he would go without TV for the rest of the week since he was being so unkind and disrespectful by both word and action, at which point he shouted louder and cried harder.

Remembering back to my own childhood, I can’t recall a time that either I, or my brother ever screamed such hurtful words at either of our parents. After it was all said and done, and he was left in his room angry and hurt, I went and sat on my bed…sad and hurt.

What have I not done well. Or right, even. What can be done better.

He started down the hall towards me with a scour on his face, and was met by Andrew, who told him he wasn’t allowed to get near “my wife” with that look on his face. He tried again, and I guess at that point I reached for my Bible, knowing it was my only source of anything, and he said to Andrew something like, “I’m not going in there since she has her Bible.”

I started reading Psalm 32. It was just the one I turned my Bible open to…not by happenstance I’m sure.

A moment later, Reynolds appeared, with his own Bible in hand.

He said he was sorry. He asked for a flashlight…so that he could read his Bible in his room, in his bed. Andrew found him one and once given the flashlight, he asked, “but what should I read?”

“The Psalms are a good place to start…” I told him that if he opened his Bible in the middle, he would almost certainly hit a Psalm…and then to pick one and read it.

He crawled up in the bed with me, and asked if I would read one to him.

We read the 23rd Psalm…and talked about how God is our Shepherd. He cares for us. He loves us when we are unlovely or when we go down the wrong path.

He hugged me for a 3rd time, and I asked him, in his embrace, “Do you really know that I love you?”

“Yes m’am.”

Moments later he walked downstairs and apologized to Andrew. He even acknowledged his punishment of no TV for the rest of the week. And then he went to his room, with flashlight and Bible in hand.

I wonder in the really hard and super crappy moments if I’m failing miserably at being a parent.
But then Jesus. He shows me in little things, that turn out to be very big and beautiful things, that He’s got me. He’s got my parenting, He’s got my baby…right where He wants us to be.

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